Last week our office shut down for vacation. For the first time in ages I didn't have any definite plans. After just getting back from a cruise in June and traveling out to Utah in March, I decided that I needed to catch up on things at home. My week was going to be used to help out my parents and also be on call if my college roommate needed me. Marie was just diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago and I wanted to leave a window of time open in case she needed me in Maine. Things seemed peaceful and even productive up until Tuesday morning. I think that I woke up right when Charlie left for work at about 7:30. I turned on the TV and settled on some program about stocks and finance. A little after 8:00 the phone rings - it is Pat, a friend of ours from church. She asked if Charlie was home and I tell her that he was at work. Then she asks if I've heard the news? There had been a shooting where Charlie works. All I could do is to hang up the phone and wait for his call. I nervously try several times to put my contacts in. Thanks be to God that he called right then to tell me that he was all right and that he didn't have his cell phone on him any longer. Right away I made calls to family members to inform them of his safety. The rest of the morning was a blur- of all days to have the chimney cleaned. The news being broadcast kept getting worse as the day progressed. 3 dead, then 5, then 7 and finally a total of 9. This is what Charlie told me when he got home in the afternoon.
He had overslept by 15 minutes and rushed off to work getting there about 5 minutes later that his normal 30 minutes of being early. When he arrived he parked his van in the back parking lot and headed toward the warehouse. He met his friend,Gerry, who was riding in a golf cart. This was his first day back to work after having knee surgery.They chatted for a couple of minutes and then Gerry took off toward the front of the building in his golf cart. Charlie took a couple of steps right outside the warehouse doors and heard popping noises like a toy gun. In a split second he sees two coworkers bolting toward the open doors shouting to run that someones shooting. Then it hits him what is going on, so the three of them run along the side of the building and into the far back of the grounds and hide under pine trees. Soon after, one of them signals the police who makes their way over to guard and protect them-eventually leading them to safety.
After he came home in the afternoon and relayed his story, it became so clear to us of how very lucky he was to have avoided being caught, involved, injured or even killed. There were so many factors that worked in his favor- being late, stopping to talk with Gerry and his coworkers fleeing at the precise time to lead him outside. That day, the disgruntled employee killed 8 great guys that Charlie worked with and injured Gerry by shooting him 3 times. Many of the victims put themselves in danger to save others- including the 2 that ran outside to alert Charlie.
What a senseless and heinous crime that took the lives of men in their 50s and 60s that had worked for the company for as many as 30 years. They were sons, dads and brothers that were loved by not only their family but also the community. I heard someone say that they never knew how involved some were in the community with sports and the youth. They had never been boastful about their service toward others.
Later in the week, we attended 3 services together in various towns. We joined about 80 other HDI workers traveling in 2 buses provided by the business. I sat next to Charlie in the bus waiting to leave the parking lot for about 45 minutes. In that time I noticed so many things. First I noticed the quiet and respectful nature of these truck drivers. Now remember, my Dad was a truck driver- so I have no disrespect. However, every now and then I do find myself referring to someone talking or acting like a "trucker". Today I saw these guys share hugs and fight back tears. I noticed one man that looked like he had just bought a new shirt which still had folds and creases from being in the package. It was cute and touching. Another driver sat across from us and I noticed him holding three handwritten envelopes for the families of the honored and loved deceased coworkers. One man caught the attention of others because he had never been seen in pants. He went to work every day of the year in shorts-except for today. What a tight group these people are, that work together.
I thank God for protecting Charlie that morning. I pray for the dear souls who lost their lives and I pray for the strength and comfort for the families and loved ones that they were taken from. My prayers are also with the employees of HDI that will return to work and carry the painful memories of that sad day forever.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
All is Well
Today I want to remember how good it feels to say that all is going well. Sounds corny, sounds boring. Maybe so, but life fluctuates so dramaticaly from day to day that I just need to remember this time. A time when the waters are calm and I can give thanks for that peace that I feel in my life.
It has been a quiet day off from work. I have learned to appreciate those days off. I spoke with my mother this morning and both she and my father are home safe. Wendy and Steve are both working and will enjoy dinner together at home when their day is done. Charlie is working and will be home to join me for a shrimp and pasta dinner that I will make and Justin has actually left me time to spend at the computer. He is out with a good friend having fun. Katie and Ryan are living, laughing and loving on their own standing side by side as their lives together unfold.
All is well and I am so thankful for this day and the blessings that have been given to me. I love you all so much.
It has been a quiet day off from work. I have learned to appreciate those days off. I spoke with my mother this morning and both she and my father are home safe. Wendy and Steve are both working and will enjoy dinner together at home when their day is done. Charlie is working and will be home to join me for a shrimp and pasta dinner that I will make and Justin has actually left me time to spend at the computer. He is out with a good friend having fun. Katie and Ryan are living, laughing and loving on their own standing side by side as their lives together unfold.
All is well and I am so thankful for this day and the blessings that have been given to me. I love you all so much.
Coincidence or Opportunity- Just Do It!
I just read Katelyn's blog about searching for and following her passion in life. I'm not sure if I wanted to shout for joy or cry with emotion and love. I can see that what I really felt was pride to be able to tell myself that "She got it". She wants to make a difference- make her mark. I guess that I do recall looking into sponsoring a child when I was her age. I became discouraged and didn't follow through when I found how little of my donation would actually reach the child. That must have been a nurturing instinct that was then followed by starting our family. I don't remember feeling that deep passion to get involved with too many other things since I was so focused on continuing to work while raising a family. It was more like an involvement that revolved around the kids- school volunteer, girl scouts, boy scouts, church,etc.- typical mom stuff.
As the kids became older and pulled away from those activities I just stayed around to make sure that there was someone home for them. That probable was my time to start to regroup and refocus. I found that I wasn't needed as much for them but I started to notice my patients needs more. There were alot of lonely people out there. They just needed someone to listen to them and care.
As I said goodbye to Katelyn leaving home, I saw how lonesome I became. Gary died and many lives changed forever. There was this open sore that just wouldn't heal- it broke my heart to see such pain. About 6 months later an opportunity came before me to become a Stephen Minister in our church(one-on-one christian caregiving in the community). I accepted the job with the understanding that if my family needed me or my parents became ill I would have to step back. There were 12 of us that trained for months (50 hours total). I have been assigned 2 carerecievers over the two years and meet regularly to walk along side of them and listen to their concerns. All done in confidence. I know that there are many people that do this without having a label or organization such as Stephen Ministry. This is different than forming a friendship- we are assigned these people that are in need of a listening ear, smile or hug. Many of the carereceivers are not even affiliated with my church- they have come to us from the community out of need. For some, their caregiver is all that they have to go to. The video in the post below describes our mission.
Wow, how did I end up talking about that? I guess I just went off about where my passion led to. I remember this past winter very vividly, when I came up against a life and death situation, my friend Jennifer said that it was no small coincidence that I became involved with this ministry. So, if I can take this gift and just reach out to one person at a time- that person that is facing loneliness, illness, death or just uncertainty- that's my passion.
So to my daughter, who is developing this sense of need and self-worth. Yay. Open your heart and be intune to those opportunities that enter into your life- just may not be a coincidence after all.
As the kids became older and pulled away from those activities I just stayed around to make sure that there was someone home for them. That probable was my time to start to regroup and refocus. I found that I wasn't needed as much for them but I started to notice my patients needs more. There were alot of lonely people out there. They just needed someone to listen to them and care.
As I said goodbye to Katelyn leaving home, I saw how lonesome I became. Gary died and many lives changed forever. There was this open sore that just wouldn't heal- it broke my heart to see such pain. About 6 months later an opportunity came before me to become a Stephen Minister in our church(one-on-one christian caregiving in the community). I accepted the job with the understanding that if my family needed me or my parents became ill I would have to step back. There were 12 of us that trained for months (50 hours total). I have been assigned 2 carerecievers over the two years and meet regularly to walk along side of them and listen to their concerns. All done in confidence. I know that there are many people that do this without having a label or organization such as Stephen Ministry. This is different than forming a friendship- we are assigned these people that are in need of a listening ear, smile or hug. Many of the carereceivers are not even affiliated with my church- they have come to us from the community out of need. For some, their caregiver is all that they have to go to. The video in the post below describes our mission.
Wow, how did I end up talking about that? I guess I just went off about where my passion led to. I remember this past winter very vividly, when I came up against a life and death situation, my friend Jennifer said that it was no small coincidence that I became involved with this ministry. So, if I can take this gift and just reach out to one person at a time- that person that is facing loneliness, illness, death or just uncertainty- that's my passion.
So to my daughter, who is developing this sense of need and self-worth. Yay. Open your heart and be intune to those opportunities that enter into your life- just may not be a coincidence after all.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sleepless in Connecticut
So, it's been a long time since I've posted anything on my blog. I'm not too sure why. Maybe I don't spend as much time in front of the computer as I used to. Maybe when I looked back at what I had written last year, it all seemed so dark and depressing, or perhaps I just began to wonder if all of it really mattered afterall. I guess that I began writting down thoughts because I wanted to remember exactly what I was feeling at the time that I was going through events. That's exactly what I was thinking about at 4:30 this morning-Katelyn's request of an entry.
My typical Sunday night- 10:00 shower, dry hair, crawl into bed at about 11. I read for a short time and then picked up a Sadoku and was so pleased to finish one off in about 10 minute-unlike some that get held over till the next night because I'm stumped.So,the light goes off at 11:30 not too bad for me. I fell quickly into a deep sleep. No problem till about 3:00-I wake up, look over and see Justin's tv on, get up and go into his room to shut it off. Still quite typical and can usually fall back asleep. Not last night though! I tossed and turned, and tossed and turned and he snored and snored. I don't kick anymore, I just say "You're snoring" to wake Charlie, so that he stops. Then I heard a noise above my head. I got up to see if it was rainig hard-it wasn't. Could it be a mouse or a squirrel in the atic? Then I thought of the AC vent not too far above my bed. Wouldn't it be really awful if a mouse could work its way through that vent- ahh but we have a cat. However, when I look down at the cat I can see that he is sound asleep at the foot of our bed. The noise stops, but then the snoring resumes. Loud snorts. Why can't he just breath like normal? It's not that hard- breath in, breath out. He didn't do that when we were visiting Katelyn. Her pillows are wicked plump. He didn't snore there. Maybe the high pillows closed off some of his windpipe-now there's a sadistic idea. No, I wouldn't close off his windpipe- but I'll bet he'd stop snoring. I've always told him that he should sleep with one eye open- I could reach my breaking point. Perhaps I should get him a new higher pillow, I thought. After all he has been sleeping with a stupid Mike-n-Ike pillow for years. Can't think of any other grown man that sleeps with a green pillow shaped like a giant box of candy.
So, now it's getting toward 4:00 and I'm starting to get mad. When I get mad I start having hot flashes. I toss and turn and throw the covers off and then 10 minutes later freeze. I'm hot- no, I'm on fire- then I'm shivering. Then I see Charlie get up. The bathroom? The sofa? NOOOOOOOOOO. I look down and see him on his knees playing with the cat. Oh Lord, give me strength. After that, he gets back in bed and quickly fall back to sleep- I mean within seconds the snoring resumes. Now, the cat gets up and walks around(literally walks on us), except I don't want that moose to settle on my legs. So, I start to move my legs back and forth like I'm running in the bed so that he goes away. Then I notice how nice and smooth my legs came out using a new razor. Now I start to think about my Dad- I can't remember what he looked like when he walked without effort. That upsets me-another hot flash. Then I think about my kids- I love them so, and am so proud of their progress. I give thanks for my many blessings. Toss,turn,toss,turn- ahh that feels good to smoosh my face into my pillow, but not too hard or I'll get deeper wrinkles. Finally at 4:30 it dawns on me that I should just keep repeating my mantra. Why didn't I think of that a long time ago. And so, Mr Sandman came at last.
My typical Sunday night- 10:00 shower, dry hair, crawl into bed at about 11. I read for a short time and then picked up a Sadoku and was so pleased to finish one off in about 10 minute-unlike some that get held over till the next night because I'm stumped.So,the light goes off at 11:30 not too bad for me. I fell quickly into a deep sleep. No problem till about 3:00-I wake up, look over and see Justin's tv on, get up and go into his room to shut it off. Still quite typical and can usually fall back asleep. Not last night though! I tossed and turned, and tossed and turned and he snored and snored. I don't kick anymore, I just say "You're snoring" to wake Charlie, so that he stops. Then I heard a noise above my head. I got up to see if it was rainig hard-it wasn't. Could it be a mouse or a squirrel in the atic? Then I thought of the AC vent not too far above my bed. Wouldn't it be really awful if a mouse could work its way through that vent- ahh but we have a cat. However, when I look down at the cat I can see that he is sound asleep at the foot of our bed. The noise stops, but then the snoring resumes. Loud snorts. Why can't he just breath like normal? It's not that hard- breath in, breath out. He didn't do that when we were visiting Katelyn. Her pillows are wicked plump. He didn't snore there. Maybe the high pillows closed off some of his windpipe-now there's a sadistic idea. No, I wouldn't close off his windpipe- but I'll bet he'd stop snoring. I've always told him that he should sleep with one eye open- I could reach my breaking point. Perhaps I should get him a new higher pillow, I thought. After all he has been sleeping with a stupid Mike-n-Ike pillow for years. Can't think of any other grown man that sleeps with a green pillow shaped like a giant box of candy.
So, now it's getting toward 4:00 and I'm starting to get mad. When I get mad I start having hot flashes. I toss and turn and throw the covers off and then 10 minutes later freeze. I'm hot- no, I'm on fire- then I'm shivering. Then I see Charlie get up. The bathroom? The sofa? NOOOOOOOOOO. I look down and see him on his knees playing with the cat. Oh Lord, give me strength. After that, he gets back in bed and quickly fall back to sleep- I mean within seconds the snoring resumes. Now, the cat gets up and walks around(literally walks on us), except I don't want that moose to settle on my legs. So, I start to move my legs back and forth like I'm running in the bed so that he goes away. Then I notice how nice and smooth my legs came out using a new razor. Now I start to think about my Dad- I can't remember what he looked like when he walked without effort. That upsets me-another hot flash. Then I think about my kids- I love them so, and am so proud of their progress. I give thanks for my many blessings. Toss,turn,toss,turn- ahh that feels good to smoosh my face into my pillow, but not too hard or I'll get deeper wrinkles. Finally at 4:30 it dawns on me that I should just keep repeating my mantra. Why didn't I think of that a long time ago. And so, Mr Sandman came at last.
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