Give a Little Bit

Here we are headed into the final stretch of summer, though it feels as if summer has just arrived here in New England. The other day Katie asked if we were still sticking to our plan of one day of weekend being a work day and the other day being a fun day. Well, there was a change in plans. Promises can be broken if needed, and this one was needed. Our days of fun became days of giving of ourselves.
It was last fall that my college roommate called and said that she was coming to Connecticut for a visit. We agreed that it was very important to get together with another college classmate, Julie, who lives in Niantic along the shore. Julie had been diagnosed with brain cancer. So, we had a wonderful bonding weekend full of silly stories and dreadful college clinical experiences that we shared. Julie was herself, but just a bit forgetful at times.
Fast forward to Memorial day weekend. Julie had just finished chemo and radiation treatments to shrink the tumor. We spent a quiet day with her and Dan. I'll most remember the walk that we took down by the water with her dog Reilly. Her leg dragged some and she said how her arm was numb all of the time now. She laughed and recalled many events that we shared from years back when our kids were little.
The next time that we visited Julie was about a month later. She had definitely changed. She had lost more hair and mostly remained confined to her recliner. That day our visit was short. My roommate, Marie, had driven down from Maine to help out for the weekend. Now, Julie required someone to stay with her at all times. Her husband, Dan, was exhausted. So, I knew that any time that we could stay with Julie would be needed.
It was at that point that we realized that we needed to spend our free weekend day giving our time to Julie and Dan. Late Saturday nights I would start cooking food to bring to them. After Charlie would finish his ambulance shift at noon, we quickly ate lunch and took off. I've never been to the beach so much without really going to the beach. Her home overlooks Rocky Neck State Park. Our trips home in the dark were usually quiet and somber.
Just over a week ago, I received that news that all treatment to shrink the tumor has stopped. Tests showed that it is not responding any longer. Her family was told that she would have two to six weeks left.
Last Sunday, our visit was very touching. She was now in a hospital bed in her living room. Her front doors were opened as she was able to lay there and look out at the ocean. Her home was buzzing with activity. Relatives were there and celebrated her sister, Diane's, birthday. Diane has been her major caregiver.
After people left and the house quieted down, Julie drifted in and out of sleep. When she did wake up she became very weepy and confused. She said that she was not afraid to die. Her faith is strong and she knows that she will be in a wonderful place with her parents and Joey, the infant son that she lost. She spoke of seven angels around her and could often hear her parents talking. She doesn't worry about death, only about the well being of those she will leave behind- Dan, Patrick, her sixteen year old son, and Bethany, her twenty-two year old daughter.
I fear for Dan. His pain and devastation is so evident to me. On Sunday, I could almost read his mind as he looked at Julie. I know that he was praying for time to stand still. Each second was cherished. They had been together since high school. In college, Julie drove home from Maine every weekend to be with Dan.
What will I remember most? When I asked Julie where she would most rather be, she said Aruba. She also told me that her favorite food was spaghetti. We agreed that all of those tests and boards that we hated didn't matter one bit right now, yet we both loved our professions. I remembered how much she loved to dance in school- even though in 1978 disco was her favorite- I hated it but I still loved you, Jules. She noticed everything so much more vividly the last time that I saw her. She easily noticed the morning doves, the leaves and the clouds in a way the we all had to look really hard to see what she saw. I'll remember how she said
that I've been a good friend and that she loves me.
Our last words were that I told her that God loves her very much and that He will take good care of her. She said that she will be all right. I replied to her that I had no doubt in my mind at all.
On the ride home late that night I kept recalling a song that was popular when we were in school. It was Give a Little Bit by Supertramp and it reminds me of this summer and caring for Julie.

Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
Give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
Send a smile and show you care
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your time to me
See the man with the lonely eyes
Take his hand, you'll be surprised
Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit of my love for you
Now's the time that we need to share
So find yourself, we're on our way back home